"Oh my man I love him so, he'll never know...All my life is just a spare but I don't care....
when he takes me in his arms...the world is quite....alright..." so go the opening lines to a song I know so well. I sang it many many times as a 9 year old standing on our makeshift stage in the loungeroom with Barbra Streisand joining me in full voice as we jointly sang to our romantic crescendo accompanied by the crackly vinyl of my Mum's 'Funny Girl' record.
I want to stay with that thought as I bask in the aura of my man newly returned from Israel where he has been on a pilgrimage with other school leaders and our bishop. I sat there with our three beauties and watched with them as he walked away from us and onto the plane. We waved furiously and he waved back as he retreated into the door of the plane. We sat and watched as the plane taxied down the runway and ascended into the sky and the children and I felt a sadness descend upon us.
It's been 10 days since he went away. Today we sat at that same window and watched as his plane landed. He walked back to us today with a golden aura around him.I could see his halo!!! I want to hold onto that aura for a while and come back to this page to remember it as the stresses of life seep in and chink away at our perceptions.
My peripheral vision got a workout in these 10 days. His absence allowed me to see so much that he is and does for us and the wonderfulness he brings to our children -that is not me or what I give or am- but purely him. I saw from an outsider's perspective, how we are each able to give to our children in such unique ways. Today, when I watched our family as we reunited with hugs and kisses and many stories, our three children tumbling over each other in their eagerness to tell dad about their lives in his absence. I saw it all as it is -a beautiful, tumbly, annoyagating love em to bits and know their frailties but love and accept them anyway kind of FAMILY. And I saw him for all of that too. We both smiled as we saw the circus that is us unfold in beautiful confusion. So many times I get caught up in the we should be this or that or you shouldn't do or be this or that and I didn't give a hoot about any of that today. I was just so fucking glad to see him. Sorry but no other word will do.
He sleeps now but I thank you god for the love of my man and for our family. I have learnt in the past 10 days that for all the many possible wrongs we can find in our relationships and I'm the queen of 'shoulds' -if you are getting some huge things right, then that's a major investment in the life of your family. We are getting it right, as different as we may be, the glue that first bound us is still sticking!!!! Sorry just felt like ending on that super corny note.
when he takes me in his arms...the world is quite....alright..." so go the opening lines to a song I know so well. I sang it many many times as a 9 year old standing on our makeshift stage in the loungeroom with Barbra Streisand joining me in full voice as we jointly sang to our romantic crescendo accompanied by the crackly vinyl of my Mum's 'Funny Girl' record.
I want to stay with that thought as I bask in the aura of my man newly returned from Israel where he has been on a pilgrimage with other school leaders and our bishop. I sat there with our three beauties and watched with them as he walked away from us and onto the plane. We waved furiously and he waved back as he retreated into the door of the plane. We sat and watched as the plane taxied down the runway and ascended into the sky and the children and I felt a sadness descend upon us.
It's been 10 days since he went away. Today we sat at that same window and watched as his plane landed. He walked back to us today with a golden aura around him.I could see his halo!!! I want to hold onto that aura for a while and come back to this page to remember it as the stresses of life seep in and chink away at our perceptions.
My peripheral vision got a workout in these 10 days. His absence allowed me to see so much that he is and does for us and the wonderfulness he brings to our children -that is not me or what I give or am- but purely him. I saw from an outsider's perspective, how we are each able to give to our children in such unique ways. Today, when I watched our family as we reunited with hugs and kisses and many stories, our three children tumbling over each other in their eagerness to tell dad about their lives in his absence. I saw it all as it is -a beautiful, tumbly, annoyagating love em to bits and know their frailties but love and accept them anyway kind of FAMILY. And I saw him for all of that too. We both smiled as we saw the circus that is us unfold in beautiful confusion. So many times I get caught up in the we should be this or that or you shouldn't do or be this or that and I didn't give a hoot about any of that today. I was just so fucking glad to see him. Sorry but no other word will do.
He sleeps now but I thank you god for the love of my man and for our family. I have learnt in the past 10 days that for all the many possible wrongs we can find in our relationships and I'm the queen of 'shoulds' -if you are getting some huge things right, then that's a major investment in the life of your family. We are getting it right, as different as we may be, the glue that first bound us is still sticking!!!! Sorry just felt like ending on that super corny note.
